Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
