i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So here I am, sexting at work.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
