Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
