how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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