we're chasing vodka with high fives
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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