I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize