I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
please come you make the beer taste better
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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