hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
