I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
