plz talk dirty to me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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