just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
