you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
