Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
foreskin is a definite game changer
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
