scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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