Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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