The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
