just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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