Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize