First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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