so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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