hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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