Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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