i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
