I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
