The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
