sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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