Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
