I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
