All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
