Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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