why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
