3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
