I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize