even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am one with the molecules
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
