can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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