apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
