somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
