She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize