I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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