you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize