I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
