A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Floor bacon is actually really good
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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