if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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