that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize