Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
