Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
