tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
