16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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