I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize