i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
