No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
