do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
should my penis look like a turkey
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
