Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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