And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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