ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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