girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
