I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
